You can do hard things
You will all have to confront hard things throughout your lives. It’s our job as parents to help prepare you. It’s your job as an individual to muster all the courage you’ve got to do the hard things.
To Emme, Callum and our little one on the way,
Businesses, teams, friendship groups and families—every tribe has a culture defined by the collective values of these groups. These values determine behaviour, how decisions are made and how individuals relate to one another.
Your mum and I have always been very conscious of setting the culture for our relationship and our family—being clear about what we value, how we want to operate and how we want to treat each other. It hasn’t been a forced process. Our family values have developed organically. They have come out of our family vernacular; words and phrases we would say regularly.
I’ll share our family values over the next few dad posts (in no particular order). Here is the first:
“YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS.”
You will hear this a lot from us. You will say it to yourself a lot. We have a wonderful life. It is easy and safe in so many ways, and definitely on a relative basis. But you will always be confronted with hard things—hard choices, hard conversations, hard situations. It could be relationships, emotions, physical challenges, spiritual conflict or broader societal issues.
It is in our family culture to do the hard thing and to do it often. Doing all the “smaller” hard things every day will prepare you for the inevitable “bigger” hard things in life.
Here’s an example: For two years from age 2 to 4, Emme was scared to go underwater. She loved swimming but after a traumatic event in Byron Bay, “going under”, as she would say, would create intense fear and panic.
Then over a period of three months, twice a week we confronted that fear together. Starting with just Emme’s chin under, then her mouth, then her nose, then her eyes. There were so many tears and screams. But throughout, she told herself “I can do hard things”. We encouraged Emme but it was her courage that got her to this point: Jumping off the diving board, having so much fun and shouting “More, more, more!”
You will all have to confront hard things, big and small, throughout your lives. It’s our job as parents to help prepare you. It’s our job as a family to support each other. It’s your job as an individual to muster all the courage you’ve got to do the hard things and do them often.
Love, Dad